I can break down the way that I work therapeutically into three simple words: “talk, feel and change”.
While it’s difficult to define ‘therapy’, because every therapist has a different style and every person differs according to their own problems and challenges in their lives. I have found that these three points stand out as good focus areas to explain how I work therapeutically.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story” -Maya Angelo.
Whether you are a couple who need a space to work on their relationship; individual going through a bit of a rough time or would just like a space to reflect for your personal growth, online therapy gives you fifty minutes a week where you are able to talk and reflect on your life. It’s your sacred time where the focus is on you and making your life better.
We all need an outlet to express ourselves, to be heard, I focus on understanding your experiences and your perspective on your life. I know sharing can be hard, remember I don’t see my job as one to judge what you say, rather my job is to hear your story and work with you to explore whether there are alternative paths you can take to make it a story and a life that you are happier to live.
So often we are told to go and “deal” with our problems, our breakups, our insecurities etc. But what does “dealing” with something actually mean? To me, a big part of dealing is feeling the emotions that are all-too-often bottled up. When our feelings are bottled-up they often resurface in unwanted ways. For example, if a work college treats you unfairly and you don’t feel free to express your anger with them because it’s a professional environment. You might find yourself bringing this unexpressed anger home and snapping at your partner. Therapy provides you with a space to feel your emotions so that you can process them and move on.
Why do we need therapy for this? Because feeling your emotions can really suck! The reason that these emotions may be bottled-up is because feeling them is difficult, uncomfortable and just plain crappy. It often feels easier to “be strong” and carry on with life. Dealing with your emotions can seem more difficult than “being strong”.
“There are many ways of getting strong, sometimes therapy is the best way.” -Andre Agassi, Open
The good news is that you don’t have to deal alone, through our online sessions I will be able to guide you and be with you through this process of feeling the emotions that arise.
Sometimes you may want to feel your emotions but there are so many things to do and so many people in your life to help that your own emotional well-being gets pushed aside. Again that’s where online therapy comes in, you can claim this therapy time as your time to focus on you. Online therapy can fit easily into your life as it’s 50 minutes from the comfort of your own couch.
As good as it is, change can be daunting and actually quite scary, especially changing something that we have been used to for a long time. In our online therapy sessions we will decide on goals for what you realistically want to get out of therapy, what changes you want in your life. We will also discuss how you will know when you have achieved these.
My goal is to help you to create sustainable changes in your life so that you don’t need therapy any more. I don’t want you to be in therapy for the rest of your life. I want to help to empower you, to create lasting real change where you do what’s best for you. Of course for real change to occur, you need to be motivated to work during our sessions. I will give you the gentle push you need to keep your focus on the changes that you want to have.
I am not here to give you advice and to tell you how to live your life, the only real expert on your life is you! I can’t take over driving your life but I can point out different roads that you could drive on.
Remember that therapy isn’t about having someone else take control of your life. It’s about you taking control of your own life and making changes.
*Please be aware that as a Counselling Psychologist it is beyond my scope of practice to prescribe medication to clients.