Why I do therapy ONLINE

Before I get ahead of myself, let’s look at what online therapy with me is all about?

What is online therapy all about?

Online therapy is similar to conventional therapy but instead of the therapist and the client sitting together in an office, it takes place, well. you guessed it, online. We will use the webcam on your phone or computer to see one another as we talk. So we will still see and hear each other and we can have a proper conversation.

This is very similar to a skype conversation, but instead of using Skype, I use Zoom as it’s more confidential.

So why do I work online, you ask?

 

I was tired of having people say to me,  “I want to go to therapy, but I just don’t have the time”.

Doing therapy ONLINE, makes it suuuper convenient for you in this fast paced world. You can be absolutely anywhere and still get the therapy you need (as long as you have privacy).

Having online therapy is great if you travel a lot or have a crazy busy schedule. You save time by eliminating the time spent getting to a therapist’s office, waiting in the waiting room and driving home in traffic.

Also, and this is quite a big one,  you don’t have to worry about bumping into anybody in the waiting room. This ensures a higher level of confidentiality than in-person therapy.

Many of my clients have told me that they feel more relaxed and open, when they are talking to me online fro their own couch.

Let’s face it, the thought of having a therapy session from your own couch with a big old cup of homemade tea, just feels less daunting than going to a therapist’s office.

Another big pro is that couples who live far away from one another are still able to work through relationship difficulties by meeting online with the therapist. We can all meet together online and have a session even if one person lives in a different time-zone.

Yes, finally some support for couples in long-distance relationships!

Now, it must also be mentioned that online therapy isn’t for everyone. It also requires a stable internet connection.

If you are still reading this, then perhaps you’re interested in online therapy? If so, you can go ahead and book a session with me and see if it’s right for you.

I look forward to meeting you

Donna

What does it mean to “process something”?

 

We get told to ‘go and deal with’ or ‘process’ our issues all the time. But what does this really mean.

As an online therapist, let me break down how I would help a couple ‘processing’ something in couple’s therapy.

I’d start by asking each partner about a past incident, and we’d review it together. Note here that memory is biased and not a perfect recording of the past, so respecting each partner’s view of how it went down is important.  I’d also ask questions about how, whatever it was that happened, went badly and why this sucked for each of you respectively.  I always let both partners express their perspectives on the issue.

Often when people get a chance to express how they truly feel about something and to explain why it is important or so hurtful to them, they get surprised by themselves and end up learning more about themselves as well as learning about their partner.

For example, I had a client who’s partner was irritated with her for refusing to put away the Christmas decorations weeks after Christmas. When she got the chance to talk about this together in therapy she realized that, Christmas was the only time that her family were happy and nice to each other during her childhood.

She figured out that the reason that she wanted the Christmas decorations to stay up was because things were going so well and she was actually a bit scared that she and her partner would start fighting like her parents used to when the decorations were down and Christmas was over. In a way, she didn’t want Christmas to ever end, and by keep the decorations up, she subconsciously thought she could trick herself and her partner into believing that it was still Christmas time.

`She wasn’t consciously aware of this before discussing it in therapy and learned more about herself that day. Her partner was way less irritated with her now too, as he understood where she was coming from.

We also looked at why having the decorations up, irritated him so much and he said that he gets really anxious when things are left around and not put in their place. He was already stressed about work and desperately needed his house to be a place that he could come home to and relax. But seeing the decorations there week after week caused him to get more and more anxious and irritated. Before this talk he just could’t understand why his partner wouldn’t let him take them down, and that made him feel unsupported by her.

Now having both shared their perspective and gotten in touch with their emotions around this issue it was time for them to make a change. They were able to reach a compromise and agreed to leave the decorations out until 2 weeks after Christmas.

Pro tip: A good way to check that a couple has fully processed an incident is to bring it up again at a later stage and see if you are both able to talk about it calmly without getting back into an argument.

If you have some things you need to process in therapy, you can book a session with me today.

I look forward to meeting you.

Donna